She was to make a family tree for her assignment. It is no secret that I've been separated from my children's father for seven years now and that I am already in a relationship with a man who has been taking care of my children and me wonderfully. She kept on insisting that she write his name as her father in her family tree. I explained to her that although he loves her so much as his own, fact is, he is not her father. We've had the same conversation before and I have explained to my children that although their father and I are no longer together, he still remains to be their biological father. And technically, he should be the one that is written as their father. I guess it is pretty hard for them to accept that they cannot claim to be the children of the man who has for four years now been there for them and have been treating and loving them like his own. How? He even goes to their school during times that I am caught up in work and he is the only one who has the time to talk to their teachers regarding seating arrangements, so that my daughter can see the board better, test papers incorrectly checked, to make sure that my son got the added scores needed for him to make it in the top ten, etc., etc.
I have my own misgivings myself, I admit. When I fill up forms for school, I keep the father's name space blank. Well, I just feel that since he has chosen to have nothing to do with my children and their upkeep, why should I mention his name? Since the separation, I have taken full responsibility of my children. With the help of my folks, my children have continued to be content with life, not wanting for anything because I did my best to provide for them everything that they need. It has been hard but we are pulling through. It is truly hard to be in this situation and much that I would like to protect my children from any discrimination or taunts from peers, we'd have to face the harsh reality of life together. I got into marriage early in life, got separated and now I got a second chance at love. My children are aware of our situation and they have always been the top priority in every decision. If any man who chooses to love me and have a relationship with me does not accept the fact that I am a mother, I would't have second thoughts in leaving him. Luckily, I choose the right one this time. My friends say that he is Mr. Right, I believe he is. We also have our bouts but they always end up okay because he sees to it that we do not let emotions go haywire and that is because he has grown to love the children too.
My daughter is a bit confused...
I do not blame her. For valuing Mr. Right so much because in him she has found a friend, a mentor, a father. He may not be her biological father but in all its essence, he is her father. There's no question about that.
3 comments:
oh. kakaiyak! hope my wonder boy and i find our own mr. right soon!
hey. there was a time i wanted to change my last name to my stepdad's. as a kid, i may have sometimes felt the stigma of having a stepdad, or not having my real father around, but i still turned out ok (i think!) stronger even. now i just think how blessed i am to have two dads with different sets of strengths and weaknesses. you and your kids are blessed as well to have your mr. right with you. ;p
what if a mr. right fall for a ms. wrong?
Post a Comment